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College Football Coach Avoids Fight, Gets Paid Vacation

COLUMBUS, OH - Urban Meyer is heading to Ecuador on an all-expenses paid vacation. The gift from Ohio State came after Urban Meyer refused to throw his assistant coach Zach Smith under the bus for alleged domestic violence. “The time away will benefit all parties involved”, one anonymous spokesperson from Ohio State University said. “Now if Coach Meyer had infringed upon a financial boundary, we would be reviewing his employment a lot closer.” This statement came days after several UNC basketball players were suspended for selling team basketball shoes.

Meyer, an avid traveler, has traveled to more than 31 different countries since starting his coaching career. “I’ve been a lot of places, but Ecuador will be a first. I told them that you know. I’ve always wanted to come here. I hear the food and the people are amazing”

Meyer, who coincidentally had 31 different players arrested in his time as Florida head coach, said he had no idea the abuse was ongoing.

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